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Passenger Briefing

May 5, 2010 Leave a comment

Part of the responsibilities of the pilot-in-command is to welcome the passengers and brief them on what they need to know before departure. This includes things such as the prohibition of smoking, use and adjustment of seat belts, location of emergency exits, use of oxygen (where applicable), stowage of hand luggage, and the presence of special survival equipment (where applicable).

A proper passenger briefing should instill confidence in passengers and start the flight off well.

This is what I’m going to use on my next flight. Any suggestions to make it better?

Good afternoon passengers, and welcome onboard flight Cessna 172 from Jandakot to Jandakot. The weather is looking good today, and you will be treated with a one-and-a-half-hour scenic tour of the training area.

To open the door, pull the handle towards you. To lock it, pull the door shut and push the handle forward until it is flush with the armrest. Make sure there are no gaps between the door and the fuselage of the aircraft.

The seatbelt works like one in your car. To fasten, pull the buckle forward, put the seatbelt over your body, and clip it at the other side of the seat. To unfasten, press the red button.

You must keep the doors locked and seatbelts fastened at all times during the flight, including take-off and landing.

This is a non-smoking flight, and smoking is prohibited by law. There are no toilets in the aircraft, and I would recommend that you empty your bladder before we depart.

I would like to request the passenger sitting in front to refrain from touching the flight controls at all times.

In case of an emergency, please follow my instructions and meet me behind the aircraft after we land. In case of fire, a fire extinguisher is available in the middle of the front seats. To operate, unlatch the clips, pull the fire extinguisher out, aim at the fire, and pull the handle.

If you feel uncomfortable in any way, please let me know and I’ll do everything I can to improve the situation.

Verbal Constipation

May 4, 2010 Leave a comment

Sometimes I look at this somewhat-neglected blog, and think of why I can’t blog as much as I did last time.

Apart from lack of time (which is the mother of all excuses), sometimes I am also having a case of verbal constipation.

What is verbal constipation, you say?

According to Google, verbal constipation is the “[d]ifficulty in expressing in words what one wants to say, especially if one has much to say”.

It’s like I have these gazillion ideas that I would like to write about, but whenever I sit down in front of the computer, WordPress’s Dashboard staring at me from the screen of my Eee PC, the words just won’t come.

Either that, or the words come in a spatter here, a spatter there, creating a mishmash that I disgustedly call a blog post, which I promptly delete.

What would be a good laxative for words?

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